Her voice is shaky, a tremor that developed from stress that belies the strength of a desperate mother.
To say that Lorinda Stewart lived through agony barely gets at the horrific ordeal she endured during the 460 days her daughter Amanda Lindhout was a hostage to ransom-demanding thugs in Somalia. Nor would it be right to assume the nightmare ended with their reunification. It was, in fact, just another beginning.
91裸聊视频淚 had all these expectations of when Amanda came home of parties and joy and actually, I had a pretty huge breakdown. Nothing was what I thought it would be,91裸聊视频� Stewart said in an interview Tuesday.
91裸聊视频淚 expected it to be this Hollywood moment where we would run into each other91裸聊视频檚 arms laughing full of joy but the shock I felt when I saw Amanda 91裸聊视频� and she was just so skeletal and her eyes were haunted 91裸聊视频� it just wasn91裸聊视频檛 that moment at all.91裸聊视频�
The crashing reality of that moment 91裸聊视频� it would take therapy and many months before the endless crying and depression began lifting 91裸聊视频� is one of several that Stewart, 61, recounts in her just published memoir, 91裸聊视频淥ne Day Closer,91裸聊视频� a harrowing, soul-baring account of her quest to get her daughter home 91裸聊视频� a story that leaves the reader feeling aged with each page at the brutality of it all.
Lindhout, now 36, was a seasoned traveller and budding freelance journalist when she and Australian photographer Nigel Brennan were grabbed in the capital of Somalia, Mogadishu. It was supposed to get sorted quickly, but the kidnappers were demanding millions of dollars 91裸聊视频� an amount far beyond the families91裸聊视频� ability to pay.
Stewart, under the close eye of the RCMP who cocooned her in a cone of absolute secrecy, became the lead negotiator, moving back to Alberta from B.C. where she had been living. Negotiating meant talking frequently with a man known to her as Adam 91裸聊视频� the pipeline and lifeline to a daughter, whose protracted mistreatment was shocking to the point of sadistic.
Through it all, Stewart gathered binders of materials, including recordings of intercepts of calls with Adam that underpin the book.
Dark points, she said, were many. Among the worst was hearing the rumour that her captive daughter was pregnant. And the 91裸聊视频渂ad call,91裸聊视频� months into the hostage-taking, in which her distraught daughter called to beg her to pay her captors off. They were torturing her, Lindhout told her helpless mother. Her murder was imminent.
Stewart catches her breath. Her eyes go somewhere else.
91裸聊视频淭hat91裸聊视频檚 a hard one to talk about. It was extremely distressful. I was able to say what I needed to say without breaking down while I was on the call. But after that, I started throwing up and just found myself on the floor. It91裸聊视频檚 really difficult,91裸聊视频� she said. 91裸聊视频淏ut then I realized I had to get myself back up and continue to fight for her to come home.91裸聊视频�
91裸聊视频淥ne Day Closer,91裸聊视频� published by Simon and Schuster, goes beyond the inner turmoil of a mother91裸聊视频檚 despair. Stewart also offers an at-times unflattering but eminently relatable portrayal of her own life, the poor partner choices she made, the strained and broken family dynamics, the struggles as a single or sometimes married mother from small-town Alberta, raising five children, making ends meet however she could.
91裸聊视频淲riting a memoir does take courage because everybody is going to see you differently,91裸聊视频� Stewart said. 91裸聊视频滿y hope is to inspire people. I91裸聊视频檓 well aware I may be judged as well. I wanted people to know who I was.91裸聊视频�
It is in her strength and obstinacy that one sees the qualities that helped her daughter survive the sexual assaults, the torment, the despair.
91裸聊视频淚 found myself deeply moved, surprised yet again at the resiliency that she holds 91裸聊视频� the ability to get through the impossible,91裸聊视频� Lindhout said about having read her mother91裸聊视频檚 book. 91裸聊视频淚t was confronting in a way91裸聊视频o really understand what a bizarre reality she was living, which I think I really understood for the first time.91裸聊视频�
The reality included living a secret life in a house in Sylvan Lake, Alta., 24/7 for months with a rotating cast of RCMP officers, who acted as her negotiating mentors, support, and liaison with what emerges as a faceless, distant entity: Ottawa.
While she speaks highly of the Mounties who lived with her in the home they rented, Stewart has little time for the shadowy string-pullers in the nation91裸聊视频檚 capital. She trusted them entirely, she said. She did everything they asked. And yet, she said, they lied to her at times, told her little, kept insisting she hold the faith because they were making progress.
Then they dropped her like a hot potato when things dragged on, leaving her and her ex-husband to find a private consulting company to help secure her daughter91裸聊视频檚 freedom, Stewart said.
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Gone was not only the emotional support, but also the money the government gave her to devote herself to being a secret agent.
91裸聊视频淚 felt betrayed in a lot of ways. I felt bitter,91裸聊视频� she said. 91裸聊视频淣ot knowing and feeling like you91裸聊视频檙e in the dark just added to the terror that we were already experiencing.91裸聊视频�
In contrast, the private security firm, at a cost of $2,604 a day, kept her fully informed and involved every step of the way, she said. But with the Canadian government refusing to pay any ransom, raising the more than $600,000 the two families ultimately needed to free their children, meant ongoing desperation, a sell-off of assets and home refinancing, along with reliance on the generosity of friends and strangers.
Raising ransom money also meant becoming the target of criticism from those who believed that paying off bandits only serves to encourage lawlessness. Stewart would have none of it, shutting out anything that distracted from her mission:
91裸聊视频淚 just had to have one focus, one goal, and that was to get her home,91裸聊视频� she said. 91裸聊视频淓ventually, I had to face what was there. That time did come eventually, after she was home.91裸聊视频�
The crash came when she realized how frail and sick her daughter was. The dawning reality that they both had a long journey and healing ahead of them 91裸聊视频� healing that still continues. People, she said, couldn91裸聊视频檛 understand the non-stop crying, why there appeared to be so little joy, why she had hit that wall so hard.
Time, coupled with therapy, would ultimately set her on a path to healing 91裸聊视频� a still unfinished journey of which the book is a cathartic part.
In recent days, both mother and daughter have been following the accounts of Canadian Joshua Boyle and his American wife Caitlan Coleman, who were freed last week along with their three children born during five years of captivity in Afghanistan.
Stewart advises the ex-hostages91裸聊视频� parents to be kind and gentle to themselves, not fight the torrent of conflicted emotions that might include immense sadness even though everyone is now safe. Therapy is a big part of that, she says.
Lindhout suggests Boyle and Coleman get away from the spotlight, find the time to enjoy the sky.
91裸聊视频淭heir road back, coming back into the world from such an intense and unique life-saving experience can be really hard,91裸聊视频� Lindhout said. 91裸聊视频淚t91裸聊视频檚 not made easier by public judgment and criticism, which I also went through. People should just have some compassion. They91裸聊视频檝e just been through a lot, more than any human should have to.91裸聊视频�
In June 2015, police in Ottawa arrested Adam 91裸聊视频� Somali national Ali Omar Ader. He is currently on trial for his alleged role in Lindhout91裸聊视频檚 kidnapping.
Colin Perkel, The Canadian Press
