So let it be written91裸聊视频�

Raise your hand if you snore.

I91裸聊视频檓 waiting91裸聊视频�

Yeah, that91裸聊视频檚 what I thought, cowards91裸聊视频�

Really, it91裸聊视频檚 okay to admit, if only to yourself, that you are indeed a bender of light.

Of course, if you live alone you might not realize that in the dead of night, you wake the dead. But if you share a roof with the living, who are you fooling? They know too well that you are a human chainsaw by night, witnessed by the bleary eyes and sour faces that confront you the morning after you91裸聊视频檝e been through a cord of wood or two.

I recall being at a men91裸聊视频檚 church retreat out in the woods near Mount Baker, decades ago. About twenty guys and myself shared a spartan dorm, with bunk beds and cots, and from one corner a horrific noise erupted with Swiss precision from this particular fellow91裸聊视频檚 face. The air shimmered around him as molecules and atoms were disrupted and electrons and protons ran for cover, only to be tractor-beamed back into the aural nightmare.

Windows were cracked with the violent dropping and rising of air pressure. Tiles were heaved from the floor, and thousands of little black no-see-um gnats were trapped in his front teeth, like krill in a whale91裸聊视频檚 baleen. Pine needles were knitted against the outer sides of screens. Terrified forest creatures fled to the next valley.

The rest of us lay wild-eyed awake while he, oblivious to the cacophony unleashed by his unholy wind, slept like a kitten. He woke in the morning, had a good stretch, complained about not sleeping a wink, and then wondered out loud why he was buried in a pile of rolled-up socks, which had been hurled at him by the traumatized.

Oh, the groans of incredulity and contempt, the rolling of eyes, the sneers, jeers and contorted expressions of faces demanding recompense. As darkness fell the next evening, just as we began to forgive if not to forget, his hellish din began anew.

Poor us. Poor guy. Had we had the Internet back then, he might have offered a meagre case in his defence. Did you know that if you google 91裸聊视频渟noring,91裸聊视频� you91裸聊视频檒l get about 77,400,000 hits?

You91裸聊视频檒l find in that vast collection PhD dissertations on snoring, screeds written on the causes, advice, remedies. You91裸聊视频檒l also see T-shirts for sale with messages like 91裸聊视频淚 don91裸聊视频檛 snore I dream I91裸聊视频檓 a motorcycle,91裸聊视频� and matching embroidered satin pillow cases, one for 91裸聊视频淪leeping Beauty,91裸聊视频� the other for 91裸聊视频淪noring Beast.91裸聊视频�

There are websites that out celebrities who snore. You can click on the telling pictures, one after another after another. There are tunes about snoring. You91裸聊视频檒l also find horror movies about snoring (Suspiria). I didn91裸聊视频檛 find any romance movies about it 91裸聊视频� no surprise there.

Queen Victoria was a famous snorer. Her fellow Londoners were no doubt not amused.

Napolean Bonaparte snored like cannon fire, apparently on account of his being prosperous around the mid-section and having a stout neck.

Pretty, ugly, skinny, fat, rich, poor, smart, not so smart, old, young and in-between 91裸聊视频� anyone can snore. I91裸聊视频檓 told I snore, although I don91裸聊视频檛 believe a word of it.

Even the self-deluded can snore, so I91裸聊视频檓 told91裸聊视频�

So let it be done.

Tom Zytaruk is a staff writer with the Surrey Now-Leader.