I have no desire for a conventional funeral. But I have Catholic roots so if anyone in my family feels it91裸聊视频檚 important that I have a proper send-off to the great hereafter then it is my wish that they be free to do that.
After you91裸聊视频檙e done with my body, I want to be cremated.
The form of funeral I would like is for my closest family members and friends to go on a week-long resort holiday, accompanied by a grief counsellor, the purpose being to gather, reflect upon and share their experiences and memories of my life.
I want my estate to pay for the full expenses of the holiday, just like my estate would pay for a conventional funeral.
I want my ashes divided among whoever wants a piece of me with any leftovers spread in a ravine on a farm where I grew up in Saskatchewan.
Have you thought about what you would want done with your remains and what you might want of a funeral or celebration of your life?
A common sentiment is: 91裸聊视频淲hat would I care? I won91裸聊视频檛 be here!91裸聊视频�
True. You won91裸聊视频檛 be there.
But someone will have to make those decisions.
At a time of immense grief when they are the least equipped to do so.
And there could be conflict between what the decision maker decides and the wishes of others who love and care about you.
Surely you care about allowing your loved ones to grieve without the stress and potential conflicts about your funeral arrangements.
I91裸聊视频檒l give you two real life examples of conflicts that have been so significant that they have required a court to resolve them.
One has to do with a young fellow who died suddenly at the age of 24 without a will.
A woman asserted that she was his common-law spouse. The young fellow91裸聊视频檚 father contested that assertion.
The woman91裸聊视频檚 status was important because a spouse is second only to an executor in a default priority list contained within the Cremation, Interment and Funeral Services Act (the 91裸聊视频淎ct91裸聊视频�) for who gets control over a deceased91裸聊视频檚 remains.
It was a critical determination. If she won, there would be an Islamic funeral. If the father won, it would be Sikh. There are significant differences between the two and I suspect that each believed they were fighting in the best interests of the young man91裸聊视频檚 soul.
The judge decided that there had, indeed, been a common law relationship and the young man91裸聊视频檚 common-law partner was given control over the remains.
The other example is a dispute between a deceased91裸聊视频檚 adult children, who he had appointed executors in one will, and his niece who he had appointed in a later will.
The children wanted their father buried in accordance with Greek Orthodox religion. The niece asserted that the deceased was an atheist and wouldn91裸聊视频檛 have wanted that.
The default priority list in the Act would give priority to the niece if the second will, which was being contested, was valid, because she would be the executrix.
But the Act provides for a process where a judge can grant authority to deal with remains to someone outside the default priority list.
The Act gives a judge the following factors to consider when being asked to make that decision (quoting from section 5(5) of the Act):
(a) the feelings of those related to, or associated with, the deceased, giving particular regard to the spouse of the deceased,
(b) the rules, practice and beliefs respecting disposition of human remains and cremated remains followed or held by people of the religious faith of the deceased,
(c) any reasonable directions given by the deceased respecting the disposition of his or her human remains or cremated remains, and
(d) whether the dispute that is the subject of the application involves family hostility or a capricious change of mind respecting the disposition of the human remains or cremated remains.
The judge decided to give control over the deceased91裸聊视频檚 remains to the family members who wanted the religious funeral.
These conflicts would not have occurred if the deceased had, while alive, given binding instructions about what they wanted done with their remains after their death.
Consider what a beautiful gift it would be to those you leave behind if you gave them clear instructions they could blindly follow in their time of grief, comforted by knowing that your wishes were being followed.
The Act provides that for your instructions to be binding, they must be in writing and contained 91裸聊视频渋n a will or preneed cemetery or funeral services contract91裸聊视频�.
The Act also goes on to say that it must not be 91裸聊视频渦nreasonable or impracticable or cause hardship91裸聊视频� to comply with your wishes.
Do you think that my wishes set out at the beginning of this column would be unreasonable, impracticable or cause hardship?
Expensive, yes. And my beneficiaries might prefer that those bucks go to them instead of being spent on an expensive group holiday.
I haven91裸聊视频檛 found any court cases considering that particular issue, but I would wager that if push came to shove my wishes would be binding.
But, of course, I must get off my butt and redo my will to include those wishes!
Unless I am distracted by another column topic, I intend this coming week to meet with funeral home representatives to discuss the nuts and bolts of pre-arranging and pre-paying for your funeral so that I might write about that topic as well.
Paul Hergott
Lawyer Paul Hergott began writing as a columnist in January 2007. Achieving Justice, based on Paul91裸聊视频檚 personal injury practice at the time, focused on injury claims and road safety. It was published weekly for 13 陆 years until July 2020, when his busy legal practice no longer left time for writing.
Paul was able to pick up writing again in January 2024, After transitioning his practice to estate administration and management.
Paul91裸聊视频檚 intention is to write primarily about end of life and estate related matters, but he is very easily distracted by other topics.
You are encouraged to contact Paul directly at paul@hlaw.ca with legal questions and issues you would like him to write about.
