The calendar year is full of difficult days for people who are grieving.

Anniversaries of a life lived.

Birthdays and death days.

Tuesdays.

Any reminder has potential for pain, which means any moment can become one of grief, explains Marney Thompson, director of bereavement services for Victoria Hospice.

91裸聊视频淕rief itself is really a process of learning to live with, accommodating with what91裸聊视频檚 happened,91裸聊视频� she said. 91裸聊视频淭here are all kinds of reminders that are painful for people."

Winter is filled with varied holidays 91裸聊视频� solstice, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Boxing Day and New Years Eve 91裸聊视频� that come with overarching narratives of wonder, magic and hope. They come with expectations based on traditions and rituals amplified when somebody91裸聊视频檚 missing.

For people processing a recent loss, the start of a fresh new year isn91裸聊视频檛 necessarily a wonderful prospect filled with goals and ideals. They may rather go into each day with a profound and lingering understanding their person won91裸聊视频檛 be there with them.

Her tips for those facing grief in the traditional times of happiness range to what is best for them. She recommends trying something new, knowing changes aren91裸聊视频檛 written in stone. 

During times of wider acknowledgement, such as Christmas, she recommends if people are comfortable, they talk within their family and friend groups to reflect on what this person and this holiday are about. Recognize or honour that person91裸聊视频檚 favourite food, charity or song.

91裸聊视频淲e often try to remind people doing it differently this year doesn91裸聊视频檛 mean your traditions are lost forever,91裸聊视频� Thompson said.

Depending on the situation, she encourages families to fill a stocking with memory notes, and read them at some point through the holidays. 

When her grandmother died, they set her place at the table for Christmas 91裸聊视频� spurring spontaneous and emotional conversation and memory sharing. 91裸聊视频淲e all cried through it. It was painful but it was a way to honour her.91裸聊视频�

While facing a friend or loved one handling grief can be daunting, there91裸聊视频檚 value in acknowledgement.

A survey conducted in November and December 2023 for the Canadian Grief Alliance, found 53 per cent of respondents felt their grief went largely unrecognized by others. In contrast, they overwhelmingly wanted to talk about it 91裸聊视频� 83 per cent said being asked about their loss was helpful.

91裸聊视频淭here are general and gentle enough words that invite people to show up if they choose to, to speak to how they91裸聊视频檙e really doing,91裸聊视频� Thompson said.

She91裸聊视频檚 also part of the Canadian Grief Alliance where they suggest opening dialogue with something like 91裸聊视频淚 know this is a difficult time of year for a lot of people, is there anything you want to talk about?91裸聊视频�

The Alliance outlines easy ways to offer such as: 91裸聊视频淵ou91裸聊视频檙e welcome to join us for dinner if you91裸聊视频檙e feeling up to it.91裸聊视频� 

Support can be as easy as offering an ear, a walk or physically helping with tasks such as making a meal.

91裸聊视频淵ou can see what the person brings forward and responds to that. It91裸聊视频檚 really worthwhile to provide an invitation to speak to how it is,91裸聊视频� Thompson said. 91裸聊视频淵ou91裸聊视频檙e just opening the door.91裸聊视频�

Be ready to follow through on the offer, and just as much, be willing to accept a no, a brush-off or silence.

There is an appropriate way to address loss, and it doesn91裸聊视频檛 include the words 91裸聊视频渁t least they91裸聊视频檙e in a better place.91裸聊视频�

91裸聊视频淓ven clients have said, 91裸聊视频業f it starts with 91裸聊视频榓t least91裸聊视频� I don91裸聊视频檛 want to hear it91裸聊视频�,91裸聊视频� Thompson said. 91裸聊视频淚t91裸聊视频檚 bright-siding their pain.91裸聊视频�

While human nature compels many to fluff people up or fix them, grief isn91裸聊视频檛 something to be repaired but rather integrated into lives.

91裸聊视频淕rief itself is really a process of learning to live with, accommodating with, what91裸聊视频檚 happened,91裸聊视频� Thompson said. 91裸聊视频淲e don91裸聊视频檛 leave people in our past when they die.91裸聊视频�

They continue to live in hearts and minds.

Victoria Hospice hosts several workshops with videos available online at . 

The Canadian Grief Alliance offers online resources at .