The tea tasted bitter and earthy, but Lorenzo Gonzales drank it anyway. On that frigid night in remote Utah, he was hoping for a life-changing experience, which is how he found himself inside a tent with two dozen others waiting for the psychedelic brew known as ayahuasca to kick in.
Soon, the gentle sounds of a guitar were drowned out by people vomiting 91裸聊视频� a common downside of the drug. Some gagged; several threw up in buckets next to them.
Gonzales started howling, sobbing, laughing and repeatedly babbling 91裸聊视频渨ah, wah91裸聊视频� like a child. Facilitators from Hummingbird Church placed him face down on the grass, calming him momentarily before he started laughing and crawling on all fours.
91裸聊视频淚 seen these dark veins come up in this big red light, and then I seen this image of the devil,91裸聊视频� Gonzales said later. He had quieted only when his wife, Flor, put her hand on his shoulder and prayed.
His journey to this small town along the Arizona-Utah border is part of a in search of spiritual enlightenment and an experience they say brings them closer to God than traditional religious services. Many hope the psychedelic tea will heal physical and mental afflictions after conventional medications and therapy failed. Their problems include eating disorders, depression, substance use disorders and PTSD.
The has led to hundreds of churches like this one, which advocates say are protected from prosecution by a 2006 U.S. Supreme Court ruling. In that case, a of a won the right to use the drug as a sacrament 91裸聊视频� even though its active ingredient remains illegal under U.S. federal law. A subsequent lower court decision ruled Oregon branches of a different ayahuasca church could use it.
91裸聊视频淚n every major city in the United States, every weekend, there91裸聊视频檚 multiple ayahuasca ceremonies. It91裸聊视频檚 not just a twice-a-year thing,91裸聊视频� said Sean McAllister, who represents an Arizona church in a lawsuit against the federal government after its ayahuasca from Peru was seized at the port of Los Angeles.
But with the growth of pro-psychedelics movements has come increased scrutiny. In addition to ayahuasca shipments from South America being seized, some churches stopped operating over fears of prosecution. There are also concerns these unregulated ceremonies might pose a danger for some participants and that the benefits of ayahuasca haven91裸聊视频檛 been well studied.
91裸聊视频淥ur knowledge is kind of limited,91裸聊视频� said Anthony Back, a professor at the University of Washington School of Medicine in Seattle. 91裸聊视频淭here is not as much information about safety as the regular other medical treatments that you might get if you went to a regular doctor in the United States.91裸聊视频�
It was dark as the Hummingbird ceremony began on a Friday night in October, except for flickering candles and the orange glow of heaters. Psychedelic art hung from the walls; statues of the Virgin Mary and Mother Earth were positioned near a makeshift altar.
A mix of military veterans, corporate executives, thrill seekers, ex-members of a polygamous Mormon sect and a man who supposedly struck it rich on a game show had converged for the $900 weekend. Many appeared apprehensive yet giddy to begin the first of three ceremonies.
They sat silently, awaiting the arrival of Taita Pedro Davila, the Colombian shaman and traditional healer who oversaw the ceremony.
The brew contains an Amazon rainforest shrub with the active ingredient N, N-Dimethyltryptamine, or DMT, and a vine containing harmala alkaloids that prevent the drug from breaking down in the body.
Those who drink ayahuasca report seeing shapes and colors and going on wild, sometimes terrifying journeys that can last hours. In this dreamlike state, some say they encounter dead relatives 91裸聊视频� one woman saw family members who had died in a car accident 91裸聊视频� as well as friends and spirits who talk to them.
91裸聊视频淲hen you were invited here, you were invited for a weekend of healing,91裸聊视频� Davila told the group in Spanish through a translator, before people lined up for shot glass-sized-doses of the thick, dark tea in plastic cups.
Davila, wearing a fedora, a boar-tooth necklace and beaded chest plate with a jaguar image, locked eyes with each participant, uttered a prayer over the cup, blew on it with a whistling sound and handed it over. After everyone drank and was settled on mattresses, Davila strolled through the tent as the drugs took hold, shaking a bundle of leaves and playing a mournful tune on the harmonica.
91裸聊视频淓very process is an individual one and completely different for every one of us,91裸聊视频� he said. 91裸聊视频淲e are going to turn off our minds and open our hearts. If you feel like you are dying, die. This is going to allow you to be reborn.91裸聊视频�
Gonzales and his wife, Flor, were among several ayahuasca newcomers.
They had driven from California, hoping for relief for Gonzales. He91裸聊视频檇 battled drug addiction for much of his 50 years, was suffering the effects of COVID-19 and had been diagnosed with early-stage dementia 91裸聊视频� likely a result of concussions over the years, one from a motorcycle crash and another from an industrial accident. He doesn91裸聊视频檛 drive due to memory loss, rarely sleeps and is prone to angry outbursts.
91裸聊视频淢y poor body is dying and I don91裸聊视频檛 want it to die,91裸聊视频� Gonzales said.
Flor Gonzales, 48, had grown weary of doctors and the pills they prescribed. None of it worked and she feared losing Lorenzo. So the born-again Christian who favors natural medicine researched ayahuasca and figured it was worth trying.
91裸聊视频淚f he91裸聊视频檚 already sick and he91裸聊视频檚 been placed on all these medications that have side effects, what do we have to lose? 91裸聊视频� It might stop the progression of the illness,91裸聊视频� she said. 91裸聊视频淚t might help him 91裸聊视频� accept things more without the anger.91裸聊视频�
Maeleene Jessop was also an ayahuasca newcomer but was intimately familiar with Hildale, the Utah town where the ceremony was held. She91裸聊视频檚 a former member of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, or FLDS, a polygamist offshoot of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
The ceremony was held in a tent on the grounds of a house owned by a former FLDS member in Hildale, where Jessop grew up, enduring sexual and physical abuse in the group91裸聊视频檚 stronghold. Jessop left the church after its leader, Warren Jeffs, was arrested for sexually assaulting girls he considered brides. He is serving a life sentence in federal prison.
The 35-year-old woman has struggled to adapt to life after the FLDS, which controlled almost everything from what she ate to what she wore. Since leaving, she has tried anti-depressants, therapy and other psychedelics like mushrooms to deal with depression and a range of physical ailments, including hearing and vision problems she blames on the abuse she suffered.
91裸聊视频淚 felt like I needed something more, like I needed a stronger breakthrough. So this is the next step,91裸聊视频� she said of ayahuasca. 91裸聊视频淗opefully it91裸聊视频檚 the last step.91裸聊视频�
She remains wary of organized religion, but felt like Hummingbird offered what she was looking for 91裸聊视频� a sense of community and freedom to connect 91裸聊视频渢o a higher power, whether that91裸聊视频檚 us or the universe or God, whatever you want to call it.91裸聊视频�
More than three months after the ceremony, Jessop said she credits ayahuasca with easing her depression and improving her focus. She found some clarity about her life goals and plans to study communications to help her speak out about abuse.
The roots of ayahuasca go back hundreds of years to use by . In the past century, churches sprouted up in South America where ayahuasca is legal. Some Brazilian churches are a mix of Christian, African and Indigenous influences.
The movement found a foothold in the United States in the 1980s and interest has like Hollywood star Will Smith and Britain91裸聊视频檚 Prince Harry talked about using it.
Some people spend thousands of dollars taking ayahuasca at five-star retreats in the Amazon. In the U.S., the movement remains largely underground, promoted by social media and word of mouth. Some ceremonies occur at supporters91裸聊视频� homes, Airbnb rentals and remote areas to avoid law enforcement scrutiny.
Like many of these, Hummingbird won91裸聊视频檛 be mistaken for a traditional Western church.
It has no written text and relies primarily on Davila91裸聊视频檚 prayers, chants and songs, in Spanish and the language of the Kam毛nts谩 people, to guide participants. Davila follows traditions he learned from his grandfather in Colombia, spending several days preparing the ayahuasca.
Before serving the tea, Davila conducts cleansing rituals 91裸聊视频� like blowing tobacco snuff up some participant91裸聊视频檚 noses to heighten its effects.
Courtney Close, Hummingbird91裸聊视频檚 founder who credits ayahuasca with helping her overcome cocaine addiction and post-partum depression, believes the designation as a church helps show that participants are 91裸聊视频渄oing this for religious reasons.91裸聊视频� But when it comes to defining it as a religion, Close stresses much depends on individual participants91裸聊视频� experience.
91裸聊视频淲e just try to create a spiritual experience without any dogma and just let people experience God for themselves,91裸聊视频� said the 42-year-old, who participated in about 200 ceremonies and had a vision to start the church at one of them.
Since holding the church91裸聊视频檚 first ceremony in Joshua Tree five years ago, Close has seen Hummingbird91裸聊视频檚 numbers grow and its demographic change 91裸聊视频� mostly from young hipsters to older, working-class people desperate for mental health treatment.
The most jarring moments have been people talking openly about suicide and viewing ayahuasca as their only hope. She recalled a sex crimes investigator and combat veteran who was so depressed he couldn91裸聊视频檛 speak without crying and told her: 91裸聊视频淚f this doesn91裸聊视频檛 work, I91裸聊视频檓 killing myself.91裸聊视频�
Close said Davila offered the man ayahuasca then said to wrap him in a blanket on his side so he wouldn91裸聊视频檛 choke on his vomit. She hoped the psychedelic would provide him with a transformative, death-like experience while remaining physically safe.
91裸聊视频淎fter the weekend, he looked like a different person where I was like, 91裸聊视频極h my God. Like, this guy is smiling and talking to people,91裸聊视频�91裸聊视频� she said.
But Close knows ayahuasca comes with risks, especially when inexperienced users focused on making money start hosting events.
91裸聊视频淭hat91裸聊视频檚 so dangerous,91裸聊视频� she said, recounting instances of people at ceremonies being sexually assaulted, ripped off and sent home without follow-up support.
To improve safety, Hummingbird has brought doctors, nurses and CPR-trained staff to ceremonies, encouraged participants to stop taking certain medications before they arrive, and created an intake process that weeds out those with severe mental illnesses and some heart conditions. They implemented a no-touching policy during ceremonies and stopped offering other psychedelics.
But Close worries a U.S. government crackdown is coming, given the presumption the largely unregulated movement is 91裸聊视频渁n epidemic of psychedelic churches that are creating a public health crisis.91裸聊视频�
Back in California, Flor Gonzales is convinced the drug is behind Lorenzo91裸聊视频檚 improvement.
91裸聊视频淭he ayahuasca changed him in a lot of ways,91裸聊视频� she said. 91裸聊视频淲e91裸聊视频檙e more optimistic about the future.91裸聊视频�
The father of four said he has stopped taking pills for depression, PTSD and insomnia. He still has moments of forgetfulness and doesn91裸聊视频檛 drive, but says he sleeps through the night and his screaming fits are a thing of the past.
91裸聊视频淚 feel healthier,91裸聊视频� he said. 91裸聊视频淚 feel like a dark force has been taken out of my soul.91裸聊视频�
91裸聊视频擬ichael Casey, The Associated Press
