It took nearly half a century for Birch Parlee to be herself.
Christened at birth in 1965 as Bernard Thomas, the first-born son of an evangelical minister, she spoke candidly with the Spotlight about her path.
91裸聊视频淚n about Grade 3 or 4, about the time I really became aware that boys and girls were different, I wanted to be a girl. I started to imitate girls and it didn91裸聊视频檛 take me long to find out that wasn91裸聊视频檛 cool91裸聊视频 lot of bullying and teasing followed me throughout my school years,91裸聊视频� she said.
91裸聊视频淭here was a sense of misalignment that I didn91裸聊视频檛 have any language to understand. I saw it as something fundamentally wrong with me.91裸聊视频�
Pressured to conform to family expectations and social norms, she was a church worship leader for 15 years.
91裸聊视频淚 buried it. I pushed it down. I lived a lie.91裸聊视频�
She grew a full beard and went so far as to pursue 91裸聊视频渕anly91裸聊视频� occupations, was a commercial fisher for 15 years, and later a farmworker and truck driver.
Two marriages ended in divorce 91裸聊视频渁nd a lot of heartache91裸聊视频hey both needed a man and I cannot be one. I think that would be the way to boil it down.91裸聊视频�
Birch is one of approximately 132,000 transgender people living across our nation, according to Statistics Canada.
While encouraging curiosity, she waves off the need for politically correct language.
91裸聊视频淚 don91裸聊视频檛 get my panties in a bunch about that.91裸聊视频�
Birch began coming out publicly about three years ago, shortly after moving to the community with her partner Saskia.
91裸聊视频淎 quite elderly woman in this town, who was attending a function at the library, walked up to me afterwards and said 91裸聊视频榟ello.91裸聊视频� She asked me if I considered myself a woman or a man in a dress. For me, that wasn91裸聊视频檛 offensive. It was an opportunity for me to tell a bit of my story.91裸聊视频�
It was Saskia who created a space where Birch could be honest.
91裸聊视频淪askia was someone who loved me in a way that I felt safe and I could be honest with her. Once I was honest with her, out of those conversations, I finally was able to admit it to myself. I no longer felt there was something wrong with me. I am just different.91裸聊视频�
The relationship was already mostly devoid of gender roles and stereotypes. 91裸聊视频淭he only thing that was different was that I was able to let go of pretending in any way of being a man, or trying.91裸聊视频�
Recently Birch changed her name and her legal gender and the two were married in August 2020.
91裸聊视频淚 am legally a woman and we are legally a lesbian couple, but she doesn91裸聊视频檛 really like labels.91裸聊视频�
Birch receives a hormone therapy of estrogen and progesterone and noted many transgender people regard questions about surgery 91裸聊视频渁s nobody else91裸聊视频檚 business.91裸聊视频�
She said: 91裸聊视频淚n the initial phase, I couldn91裸聊视频檛 even comprehend it and I was perhaps in judgment of people who did it. In the beginning, I believed that it is what91裸聊视频檚 inside that matters. The problem is outside is perpetually undermining your sense of inside and I think trans people do become a little bit obsessed with their appearance. It is an attempt to bring your inside and your outside into alignment.91裸聊视频�
Birch described the acceptance of the Princeton community 91裸聊视频渁s almost unbelievably positive in many, many ways.91裸聊视频� Still, she added, 91裸聊视频渢here are certain places I don91裸聊视频檛 go, where I don91裸聊视频檛 feel quite safe.91裸聊视频�
And she remarked with consternation on a recent Spotlight story about an altercation at a local bar allegedly incited by slurs against a transgender patron.
For the most part, Birch91裸聊视频檚 family, including two children, step-children and siblings, are supportive.
91裸聊视频淢y father tries,91裸聊视频� she said, 91裸聊视频渂ut it91裸聊视频檚 hard.91裸聊视频�
When asked what advice she would give her younger self, she does not hesitate.
91裸聊视频淒on91裸聊视频檛 be afraid. Don91裸聊视频檛 hide. Find a way to be yourself. It91裸聊视频檚 a journey91裸聊视频eople assume that I made a choice to be trans and people really need to understand it isn91裸聊视频檛 something you choose. It91裸聊视频檚 something you are and the choice is whether or not you accept it.91裸聊视频�
Do you have something to add to this story, or something else we should report on? Email:andrea.demeer@similkameenspotlight.com
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